Tag / Success

by dmj514

Just One Thing…

I just finished reading the book The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan.  Keller and Papasan make a case for discovering and focusing on your “one thing” for greater success.  The authors suggest that when you think about the most successful times in your life you will start to see a pattern.  Is your “one thing” creating? Or designing? Maybe teaching?  What about building?

The book is clearly geared toward the business world.  However, humans are dynamic and ambitious beings.  We want success and mastery in all areas of our lives—work, relationships, health, hobbies, etc.  I couldn’t help but think about how I might apply the idea in my personal life.  I was curious.  Was I already using the “one thing” concept to create success in my life?

The first thing that came to mind was weight loss.  Over the past several years I have lost about 30 pounds.  People often ask me what I am doing to lose weight—am I eating Paleo, or Keto, or doing Weight Watchers?  Nope.  I am tracking everything I eat in an app and I walk—a lot. 

As I more closely examined my success, I realized that there is “one thing” that beyond everything else—even the tracking and the exercise—that keeps me focused.  Food prep.  Every Sunday night for several years I have made weekly food prep a habit.  I put together five containers of fresh vegetables, five containers of hummus, five pieces of fruit (or containers of berries), five containers of plain yogurt sweetened with maple syrup, five little baggies of nuts for snacks or mix-ins for my yogurt and I make sure I have at least five frozen meals or leftovers in lunch portions.  This habit ensures that even if I am not getting a lot of exercise that week, I am eating portions within my food budget.  It eliminates the excuse that I don’t have enough time in the morning to prep healthy food.  Even If I am going out to eat one of the days during the week, I can be assured that I can stay on track the rest of the week because of my food prep.  

When I don’t have time to do my food prep—my week, my eating and my dining budget all feel out of control.  As you can imagine, I don’t lose weight in those weeks either.  I think my food prep is what author, James Clear would refer to as an “atomic habit.”  In his book, aptly titled “Atomic Habits,” Clear explains that an atomic habit is a small change or habit that has enormous impact on success.  I tell people, my success is about tracking and exercising, but what I should be telling them is that it is all about the food prep.    

Another habit that helps me is the old fashioned “list.”  I have created lists on my phone, but I much prefer a blank piece of paper and colored markers.  There is no better feeling than checking off an item of my list.  I have even been known to write things on the list that I have already completed just to check them off.  Is that weird?  Every summer and winter I make a master list of projects I want to do around my house.  I know I won’t get to all of the items, but by having them on the list I can prioritize and plan to at least accomplish a few of the larger ones each season. 

A couple of years ago I was overwhelmed by how many scrapbook projects I had that were either partially done or not started.  I dabbled here and there on a few of them, but none of them were close to completion.  The unfinished projects hanging over my head stressed me out.  I turned to my passion for making lists to help me focus.  I made an exhaustive list of all the projects, listed them in order of priority and then focused on each project until complete—not allowing myself to work on other projects until the higher priority project got done.  I have been amazed at how many projects have been completed!  I redid a college baseball album for my brother that had been ruined in a flooded basement in 2012.  I completed my brother and sister-in-law’s wedding album (FYI…they have been married 10 years).  I actually did this one twice—I created a duplicate album for myself.  All the photos from my 1999 trip to Ireland are now in an album.  In the early 2000’s I was into nature photography and had accumulated a large box of photos—those are now out of the box and in an album.  I continue to work through my list.  I enjoy my hobby much more now knowing that I have gotten a few of the projects all the way to completion.

Okay—so that was “two things” that give my life a little more focus…a little more success.  What can I say—I am a dynamic and ambitious being.

What is your one thing?  What is your “go to” habit that makes a difference in your life?  What thread of success do you see running throughout your life?  

by dmj514

I’m a Writer (Who Never Writes) & Other Lies I’ve Told Myself

“Writer” is a word that I’ve used to describe myself since the early 2000’s.  However, my earliest memory of writing is from the first grade.  I wrote a short story where the villain—a burglar—appeared to escape using a second story balcony.  Later in the story it was revealed that the balcony had been removed just the day before.  Now that I reflect on it—this was a pretty macabre story for a first grader.

As an adult I fed my desire to write with a variety of projects.  I wrote draft chapters of non-fiction books, school papers, cover letters for job applications (for both myself and for friends) and the occasional writing project at work.  I paid for a subscription to “Writer’s Digest” and joined our local literary group.  I attended writing classes—online and in person.  In 2004, I started a novel in earnest.  Fifteen years later that novel is still nowhere near complete.     

I began to wonder if I enjoyed the idea of being a “writer” more than I liked to write.  For years I’ve dreamed of sitting in my office on a cold snowy morning drinking my coffee and plunking away at my computer.  Did I have an unrealistic romanticized idea of the writer life?

Or maybe I liked to write, but just didn’t have the persistence to finish larger writing projects.  I had lots of ideas, but none of them were fully fleshed out—they fizzled out before I really got started.

Or perhaps, writing in solitude–behind a closed door–is safe.  No judgement.  No fear of rejection.  No disappointment.

I do love words.  I like to play with words.  I love the challenge of coming up with just the right word.  My Language of Appreciation and my Love Language is “Words of Affirmation” (preferably written please!)  My friends call upon me often to help them with their resumes.  Suddenly, they are “conducting” and “designing” instead of “carrying out” and “drafting.”  I feel joyful and productive when I can write as a part or my job. 

Judging from the number of blog posts I put out in the past year and a half—uh three to be exact–you may wonder where all my “writing” ends up.  If I call myself a writer, where is all the writing? 

Here is where the lies begin…

Lie #1: I’m a writer (who never writes).

You cannot call yourself a writer—unless you write.  I haven’t even journaled consistently (ever).  One thing that I have learned from taking classes and reading about famous authors is that discipline is even more important than writing skill.  Having discipline to write, to experiment with words daily and to explore ideas on paper makes you a better writer.  Not every piece of writing is good—nor does it need to be.  My high school band teacher used to say, “a sin of omission is a greater sin than commission.”  In other words, it is better to play the note—and play the wrong note—than not to play any note.  For a true “writer” it is better to have written something (anything) than to have not written anything at all.

Lie #2: I don’t have time. 

While it takes time to write—it doesn’t have to take hours each day to be a “writer.”  I have been waiting for the perfect conditions to write.  For example:

·         “I need a full Saturday to hold up in my office and really dig in”

·         “Winter is always a better time to write because I am stuck inside”

·         Or my personal favorite, “I can’t possibly write when my house needs cleaning—I will be able to concentrate much better when my house is completely clean.”

It is true that I have a busy life, but to be honest I am missing out on critical writing time every day.  How often do I spend 20 or 30 minutes on Facebook?  Or how often am I sucked into watching “just one more episode” of something on Netflix.  The truth is—my writing will always take a back burner if I continue to deceive myself with the idea that I don’t have time.  Identifying where there are pockets of time in my day and then applying the discipline of writing within those times is what I need to become a “writer.”  As I write this there is a pile of laundry calling my name—I will resist!

Lie #3: What could I possibly say that others would value?

All the good ideas are taken.  How can I possibly be original?  Barbara Kingsolver, author of The Poisonwood Bible (and 14 other books) is quoted as saying, “Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say.  It’s the one and only thing you have to offer.”

This is a tough one—I think every writer (including the famous ones) have had this seed of doubt creep into their minds.  I read blogs.  I listen to podcasts.  Some articles or episodes are more valuable than others, some more entertaining than others.  What I have realized is that not every sentence (or blog post) needs to be groundbreaking, life-changing brilliance.  In fact, by committing to be a “writer” I will commit many “sins of commission,” but again, it is better to have written the wrong word than to have not written at all. 

There are other lies I’ve told myself…but those are topics for another post.